I’ve been up for the past hour simply just talking to myself, talking myself through things and it’s made me realise a lot things from my life. I’m stuck with people who make me really unhappy, who say things to me that almost always bring me down, makes me feel insecure and just unhappy in general. It’s unfortunate because at least for the time being, I can’t get out of this group of friends and I’m also not capable to make new friends myself because well, I’m just this introverted, anti-social kid whose life just always ends up in all the wrong places.
I began to continue thinking, everyone I know’s got someone, someone they can always rely on and talk to. Realising that, it hurt a lot, not just mentally but physically? It was pain I felt from the insides of my body because I don’t exactly have anyone I could ever rely on. No one that really honestly cares enough to just ask about my day, how I’m doing, how’s life.
I think a lot of things first start with myself first of all. I don’t know how to approach anyone new, short tempered, people usually think I hate them when in reality I don’t, it’s just the way I act, but most of all, I’m absolutely horrible at maintaining relationships. A lot of negative things have come from the fact that I can’t maintain a relationship and maybe that’s why I’m stuck in the situation I am now. Heck, who can I blame.
All in all, people destroy people and that’s not right.
1:49am, signing out.