This fear of mine, it’s always there and never goes away, it haunts me. This feeling of constantly not being good enough, constantly finding myself comparing to other people, sometimes to people I don’t even know personally. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years and years. I always used to be compared to my sister, how she’s smarter and what no. I remember countless times where I was just sitting in piano class and still having to hear my piano teacher compare myself to my sister and basically called dumb. That’s not even all, its that moment when your own mother sitting there agrees. Maybe that’s where it all began, this fear of never being good enough.
But, the thing that hurts the most is when you start questioning if you’re good enough and wanting to give up your own dreams because you feel like you’ll never be good enough and damn I wish so badly that I could listen to my own advice but I can’t. There’s so many things that kill, and myself included.
At the end of the day though, what exactly is good enough. Will there ever be a good enough? Will we, or I ever be satisfied with ourselves. I hope so because it’s incredibly hard to live constantly questioning , comparing and destroying yourself.